


Crossed with Criminals

by CelticGHardy



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:25:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticGHardy/pseuds/CelticGHardy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In search of an artifact that increases (or fixes) fertility, Steve and Claudia run across Liam, who's searching for a couple of convicts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossed with Criminals

**Author's Note:**

> Written for trope bingo - fuck or die.
> 
> The explicit is basically for the last 500-700 words. Sadly.

Berryville was almost exactly as Claudia pictured it. Sunny, filled with lots and lots of happy families with bunches of little children running around and babies held by harried parents. “Are we sure this is an artifact?” Steve asked again, “Because I remember growing up in town like this and sometimes there would be small spikes of pregnancies and birth.”

“Pretty sure, unless you remember a spike lasting five years,” she commented, starting at the case file, “Not to mention women reported to be sterile becoming pregnant after a visit to the 'best baby clinic in the tri-state area.'”

“Actually sterile?” he inquired, “Not misdiagnosed or aligned in the wrong category?”

“The word barren came up a few times.” She waved the file, offering him to read it again. 

He shook his head. “Okay, so what's suspected?” he questioned, watching couples walking by. More than a few women had bumps.

“The increase started with the opening of the clinic. The owner and the doctors might have bought good luck and fertility symbols.”

“And no way to narrow it down?”

“Nope.”

Steve nodded sarcastically, “Perfect.” Neither wanted to go in just yet. If they went in together, they would be mistaken as a couple, and possibly be affected by the artifact. They couldn't go in by themselves, it would be suspicious. Without a well thought out and believable backstory, they were going to have to break in. And the clinic had cameras and security systems. It wasn't hard to deal with them, but they were annoying.

Fate, or the Warehouse acting like it, decided to help out.

“Heya, Jersey,” a voice unexpectedly announced.

Steve looked outside his window to see Liam bending over so he was in his eye line. His former boyfriend was looking good as he ever was and he felt a small build of happy thoughts, but he remembered the former part. “Jersey?” Claudia broke in, ruining the building moment, “This is the old boyfriend?”

He turned to her. “Yeah, Claudia, Liam, Liam, Claudia.” He struggled and hurriedly got out before she could corner him. Liam seemed amused at his actions. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Claudia interrupted, standing beside them, smiling at Liam but smirking at Steve. There was really no way Steve was going to get her away from Liam. His irrational thoughts about stories told behind his back and trying to keep things separate were being beaten down by an imaginary Myka with a goo gun.

He was hanging with Pete too much.

Claudia ended up dragging them to the only actual coffee shop in town before they ended up in a somewhat secluded area in the only park in the town. Steve and Liam sat together automatically and she smirked at the action.

“All right, I'll go first,” Liam said, the quiet not broken by anyone. “We're looking for a couple of convicts that were spotted in the area. One's got family here, a brother. We're hoping he goes to the guy for help.”

“Where?” Steve asked.

“Let me guess,” Claudia ventured, “The clinic.”

Liam lifted an eyebrow. “You two as well? Don't tell me it's something dangerous like that jug.”

“No, increased fertility,” Steve allayed, “Sterile couples suddenly able to conceive.”

“How is that dangerous?”

“Now sure exactly,” Claudia said, “There may be something that affects the couples if they don't try conceiving in a certain amount of time. There hasn't been any major deaths or anything else that I could track down.”

“So, better safe than sorry?” he summarized. Steve nodded. Another silent moment led to Claudia asking to see photos of the convicts. While they discussed possibilities concerning both cases, Steve came up with a plan that might help the three of them.

“Liam and I will go to the clinic,” he suggested. That gained stares. Liam was a little incredulous he would think of that. Claudia's smirk grew bigger. Possibly at blackmail material or something about trying to get the two of them together. He put a stop to that with a quick stare. “It _looks_ like the artifact only affects women. That's what we found, right? The ones that was 'cured' of barrenness or infertility were all women.” That limited the doctors. “If a same sex couple touches or ends up by the artifact, then there wouldn't be any effect. Or shouldn't be, at least.”

Claudia wondered if a same sex couple even visited the clinic, and settled into possible research plans. Liam was agreeing with him. “I can also get a look at the relative. A closer look. He's already been visited by local police, so we figured it would be bad to revisit, spook the fugitive if he is hiding with his brother,” he explained. “Hopefully, he doesn't know who I am and it won't spook anyone.”

-

The secretary stared at them when they entered the clinic. It wasn't just the secretary, but she was the first person they approached. “Hi, is there anyone we can talk to about surrogacy?” Liam inquired, smiling in a way that both hoped would be welcoming and non-threatening.

“I'll call Doctor Ness,” she said. The two sat along a wall in the small waiting space that had a currently empty children's section. They weren't overt in their attentions to each other. They bumped knees and held a few fingers together, but never long enough to get glares from the others.

There were a few appointments before someone came to walk them back. Doctor Ness was a woman just nearing her forties and her body didn't show it. She motioned to them and they followed. “Normally, Doctor Lihala takes these cases, but he's been out on vacation since Tuesday,” she informed, “I know some of the details of our surrogacy and adoption program. Exact details, arrangements, those are completely his.”

Liam nodded, taking in the new information. His chance to see the relative was gone, and it wasn't a coincidence in his mind. “Of course,” Steve led, “We were wondering about some of the things that only get mentioned online.”

She nodded in understanding, “A lot of couples and surrogates, and those that give up their children have privacy clauses in their contracts that keep them from saying too much surrounding the arrangement. There had been fallout in the past over what has gotten out due to someone publishing information. It's to keep names private, birth mothers, surrogates and donors alike. If the parents also want to keep that information away from their children....”

“It gives them the ability to decide whether or not to tell them at the right time,” Liam offered. They were in her office by this point. Doctor Ness was the women's fertility specialist, which is who Steve needed to look into. There was nothing on the walls that would qualify for artifact status in his mind, a mixture of her degrees and autonomy posters. New and laminated shiny. Her desk and surrounding tables, however, had a couple of fertility symbols. Steve was pretty sure they were fertility symbols, based on his limited research. There wasn't a different between fertility and sex. Which made sense.

Pregnancies usually resulted from sex. There might be something there.

Doctor Ness sat behind her desk while the two took the guest chairs. “Which avenue were you deciding?” she asked.

“We've, uh, we've tried a couple of times adopting from young women. One decided to keep hers and another had interference from a third party,” Liam spun out.

She understood that. “Well, surrogacy depends on the situation between the couple and the surrogate. Needs change. I'm guessing the two of you will use a surrogate mother.” Liam nodded. Steve wasn't paying attention as he should, trying to figure out which item helped barren women become pregnant. “If the couple uses a family member or friend, it's a little more relaxed. A lot of them don't create contracts, it's based of a spoken word and trust deal. Usually, hospital bills are taken care of by the surrogate. They're usually going to be an aunt anyway so it's not that big of a deal to them. Some couples gift them money, items. They do it for their own benefit mostly. Using a stranger is more of a service. The couple screens the volunteers, they work out a contract for contingencies. Miscarriages, accidents. Medical bills, possibly other finances are worked out. This situation is more likely to need a contract. Each side debates on what works for the best and they write it out and sign it.”

Steve zeroed in on a stone woman holding open her uterus, and a bronze cast of some Asian culture symbol. He wasn't sure on the second one, barely finding enough information. “I know you can't release actual copies,” Liam ventured, “But is there a template for what people place in the agreements? A list of things that the parties should touch on?”

She nodded, going through a stack of papers. “I might. I had to arrange a surrogate carrier for a couple. A similar situ... Oh, dud.” Her movements caused a few other stacks to collapse, pushing things to the edge of the desk and making them fall. Steve managed to catch a silver, cross type thing before it hit the ground. Doctor Ness saw it instantly. “I swear, that thing travels.” _Travels? Like Harry Houdini's wallet traveling?_ He placed it back on the table and she moved it to a display case she had. “It's a silver Brid's cross. I bought it during my stay in Scotland, and the seller said it had been in her family for generations. Brid was one of the Celtic Goddesses that people went to for fertility help. One of the more widespread and known ones. She is now Saint Bridget, thanks to the Catholic Church.” She caught the stares the two men gave. “It was interesting to research.”

Steve didn't feel any side effects that he could detect when it came to this type of artifact. No arousal, no thoughts about finding the first willing woman he could and having sex. Nope, sill gay on that front. _Looks like I was right about the only affecting women._ Good thing, too.

Their meeting ended and the two left the office and the clinic. Liam and Steve kept playing couple, staying close together and getting away with intimate gestures that wouldn't be picked up by the residents. The sparks that Steve felt during their original relationship seemed to echo back and make it difficult to separate emotions in his head. Their actions were an old pattern that fit perfectly together again.

Liam's phone went off and he answered quickly. “Napier.” There was only a minute of talking between the other side and him before the call ended. “I gotta check in. Meet you back at your room?”

_The room I'm sharing with Claudia?_ “Sure,” he nodded. Liam left and Steve wandered around. Now that he had a good idea on what was the artifact, there came the task of being able to get it. He started thinking about ways to get it out, sharing his thoughts with Claudia. He grabbed some type of tea drink from the coffee shop and walked out to the park again. Sitting down, he sipped his cup and thought about approaching Doctor Ness again.

About halfway through his drink, he started feeling a little woozy. _Artifact effect? Is it just kicking in?_ “Hey, buddy, you okay?” someone asked. Steve hadn't noticed that someone had showed up in front of him. He hoped it was Liam, but his sight was blurring a little to go along with the wooziness. He felt himself being lifted up.

And things after that went dark.

-

Claudia looked up at the insistent knocking on the door. Steve had a key and the manager wasn't that pushy. She got up and opened it to see Liam, panicked and flushed. “Is Jersey here?” he questioned.

Jersey? Oh, right. “No, Steve's not here,” she said.

“Damn. I had to go brief a superior. Took longer than it should have. Said to meet here.”

Claudia had been watching him talk. He was getting worse. With the panicking and flushed complexion she saw, there was also anger and irritation. She wondered about artifact influence. “Liam, did you touch anything at the clinic?” she inquired.

He seemed annoyed at the question, then calmed himself down over why she was asking. “No, I didn't. Steve did. He caught something falling off her desk,” he informed.

“Oh boy. Okay.” She opened up the Farnsworth and rang up Artie. “What exactly did Steve touch?” she demanded.

“Silver Brid's cross.”

“Wow, perfect description,” she said, turning back to the screen. “We got a problem.”

“I heard. Silver Brid's cross and Steve touched it.”

“And it's affecting Liam,” she mentioned.

“How?”

“Flushed, anger irritation and I think he's increasingly worried about Steve.”

“Hmm, right. I have a few ideas. And what do you mean worried about Steve?”

“Uh.” She shut it on Artie. “Okay, we need to find Steve.” Claudia grabbed a static bag and gloves. “Catch me up on your appointment, Marshal Man.” His brain paused, but his body didn't, following the woman out of the hotel.

-

Steve's first thoughts were groggy. The closest he had to this type was a bender thanks to a couple of the guys in ATF. The hangover the next day made him regret his decision. This time, he didn't remember drinking anything except for the coffee and the _chai tea. Crap, someone drugged me._ The first opening of his eyes netted nothing but black. He figured it was the chemical aftereffects and waited a few minutes for his head to clear before trying again.

It was still dark.

_Okay. Don't panic. Probably a blindfold._ He had gotten away with not being kidnapped or being held hostage in the ATF. It was a good track record that was now ruined. Breathing, he decided to take stock. He was blindfolded, with a cloth or rag instead of tape. Same deal with a gag in his mouth. It was tape on his wrists and ankles, but they had made sure it was on his clothes and not touching his skin. That seemed nice for people that kidnapped him. He was on something soft, lying down with his wrists in front. There weren't any loud sounds, and he couldn't hear the people responsible for it.

Then, he realized he was warm.

Not heat warm, like he was covered or it was high temperatures outside, but more like his body was responding to something very pleasurable. It was shooting up and down his spine, the center around the base and going around his hips. Involuntarily, he jolted up, his cock getting hard and desperate....

_What the hell? I'm horny?!_

Steve hoped that it was just a delayed reaction to seeing Liam again, and being in close proximity. Unfortunately, he thought it had more to do with touching the cross. _Great. I hope neutralizing the artifact will help in stopping this. And that Claudia and Liam find me. That might be also a good plan._ Another spike went down and he moaned while lifting his hips up to try and get friction or - _Fuck, I wanna be fucked. Shit._

-

The clinic was closing down for the day, but they were able to meet with Doctor Ness. “Sorry about the intrusion,” Claudia led, sitting down. She spotted the Brid's cross still in its display and wondered if she could get Liam to cooperate with her and get the doctor out.

“Of course not, but I thought he came in with another man,” she pointed out.

“He did. My partner came in with him so they could get an eye on Doctor Lihala,” she explained.

“Ma'am,” Liam started. Claudia saw that he had forced down his effects and put on a calm face. “I'm with the US Marshals service. Two convicts escaped from a penitentiary two states. One is Doctor Lihala's brother. We're thinking that he might have come to get help before trying to get out of the country.”

Her surprise was genuine, and her gasp was covered by her hand. “Oh. Oh, that makes so much sense. Terry said he was going to take a vacation on a cruise, but with all the horror stories that had been coming out, he swore never to take one a few weeks back.”

_And someone did a sharp U turn._ “Where does Doctor Lihala live?” Claudia asked.

“He has a house over on Wheedle Street, but if he was trying to hide them, then they might be back down at his grandmother's.”

“We'll check both places. Do you have the addresses?”

She shook her head. “Not off the top of my head.”

“Why don't you get me those addresses, please?” Liam directed. She walked out with him to get their owner to release the details. Claudia waited until she couldn't see them before putting on a glove and carefully grabbing the cross and putting it in the static bag. The sparks were no more or no less than the average. She hoped that the story about the cross moving about would hold until they could get a replacement sent back to her after Artie made it.

Liam waved at her from the door and they hurried out. “Do you feel any different?” she asked.

“No.”

She sighed, “Damn.”

The first house was completely empty, not that surprising if the man was faking going on vacation. Everyone reported that the man had packed some bags and headed out of town, following everything one might do if they were leaving for a couple of weeks. The second location was just over a mile outside of the town. The two stopped the car behind a rundown silo and crept up the rest of the way to the house. They managed to get close enough to see shadows in what they figured was the kitchen.

“I count three, you count three?” she inquired.

Liam's cool face had dropped off and his agitation was back up. “Yep.”

“Good, because we don't want them having a chance.” She pulled out the Tesla grenade that she had packed and went up to a window that was open a small crack. Expanding it slowly, she managed to get it so she could throw it in. Then, she ducked. The room lit up and Liam didn't know what the hell type of thing she had, but the next thing he heard was the dropping of three bodies. The two went through the surprisingly unlocked back door and saw the three of them were down. The man was hurrying up the stairs before Claudia could get an answer on what to do. “Okay.” She slapped her hands together, thinking of a solution before finding two rolls of duct tape. “Everyone's favorite fixer.” She picked up one and started working on the guys and taping them up.

Liam knew Steve was nearby. It's what he focused on and forgot everything else before finding him laid out on a guest bed. His body was on automatic, moving over and removing the gag. Steve was cut off from saying his name when he kissed him immediately. He moaned into it and whined when the man didn't even bother untying him and just tried stripping him around the tape. “Liam,” he broke off, “Don't you fucking dare.”

“Now,” he growled.

“Liam,” he gasped, “Crime scene.” He was burning up with the touching. “Come on, Liam. Hotel room. Can you hold on until we're there?” 

It took him a minute to stop attacking his neck, but he managed to pull back and cut the tape off his wrists and legs. “Damn, Jersey, you don't know how much this hurts me.”

“You're not the only one in pain,” he said, pulling his clothes back on, “Let's hurry.”

The trip back was harried and Steve and Liam were back in the latter's room before Claudia could even call Artie with the semi-good news. “Well?” he asked.

“Got the artifact and Steve back.”

“Good. I managed to trace its origin. The creator was a midwife that was known for working miracles in getting women pregnant and delivery. Indirectly, the male that she would have been with at the time is affected to make sure that her work doesn't go to waste. There was never an actual case of death, but some of the affect males ended up with severely increased levels of testosterone and suffered high enough blood pressure to possibly have heart attacks.”

Claudia didn't want Artie to worry too much, but it nagged on her to check anyway. “There haven't been any incidents with same sex couples, have there?” she inquired.

“None reported,” he said. “Neutralizing it didn't stop them?”

“Nope.”

He sighed, “I'm going to have to make an appointment.” The Farnsworth clicked off and she wondered if it would be tasteless to arrive with Chinese after they were done.

-

Liam attacked Steve once the door had shut. Clothes were stripped off rapidly and they landed on the bed naked. He held him in place for a minute simply roaming over his skin, kissing him until breathless and keeping on. Settled that he was safe, his hand moved down and started ringing him.

Steve groaned and started searching for something that could act as lubrication. Thankful that he knew Liam as well as he did, he found some in the drawer and passed it down before he started trying to insert dry fingers. His next thought was a condom before he felt a slicked finger just enter. “Liam,” he gasped, jerking upward and rubbing against him. His body was opening up quickly and another finger was added. His search was fruitless and it was forgotten with the third finger joined its partners and he instead grabbed Liam, holding himself up and wrapping around him.

After a few minutes of stretching and groaning, Steve felt the fingers leave and it wasn't even a second before being replaced by something a bit thicker than the fingers. “Fuck,” he hissed. It was painful, but pleasure built up and knocked it out when he fully seated. Liam didn't wait very long before moving and settling into a pace that caused spikes up and down his spine.

“Damn, Jersey,” he panted, his first words since it began, nestled in his neck, “Haven't felt like this in a long time. Can't keep my hands off you.”

“I thought our little reunion a while ago counted,” he whispered, trying to keep level between his heavy breaths. He was gripping him hard and pushing back on him halfway.

He laughed harshly. “I was thinking more in the first weeks. You had been out on a raid and got grazed by a bullet. I freaked out, had you against the counter. Then took you to bed and didn't let go of you until noon the next day. I wore you out for the first time.” If there was ever a memory that could finish Steve off, it was that one. But he was still hard as ever and he was feeling impatient to cum. He reluctantly removed one hand from Liam to start palming himself. His hand was dry and it was a little more pain than he would have liked. His dilemma was noticed. “Let me help you with that.” His hand was replaced by a lube covered one.

“Uhh,” he moaned, exploding with pleasure. Precum started coming out and he warned Liam before his body clenched around him and he squirted over his chest. Liam groaned above him and he felt warm liquid filling him. It took him a few minutes for his rational side to start up again. “Fuck. We just fucked bare,” he realized. _Shit, what the hell is that artifact going to do to me now?_

“Well, I'm clean,” he said.

“So am I,” he declared.

“Then this doesn't worry me that much,” he said. Liam almost collapsed, but he made himself pull out and lay at his side, “Artifact made us horny as hell and it took care of it. You don't have the right parts to get pregnant.” Steve turned to him, holding onto those words but also cursing him for the possible jinx. “I think-”

Steve covered his mouth. “No more words that are libel to screw me over. Okay?” Liam smirked and kissed him again before doing something else with his mouth that started the process all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up taking three prompts and making a trilogy.
> 
> Now I just need 24 hours to live and Forbidden fruit. I'm thinking something funny for the latter.
> 
> [Brid's Cross](http://astratradingjewellery.com/ks591-brigids-cross-pendant-p-98.html) for reference on what the artifact would look like.


End file.
